 Things you can do at home to Support Your Child’s Learning Teachers tell us there are crucial factors that impact a child’s ability to learn on a day by day basis. When these are out of balance, it is unlikely that much learning will take place. Conversely, when nourished they will greatly enhance learning. Three primary factors, which greatly impact each day’s educational experience, are emotional well being, good nutrition, and proper sleep. Parents play a vital role in ensuring that their children come to school in a state conducive to learning. EMOTIONAL WELL BEING Recent research tells us that children may have trouble processing academic information when they are burdened with worry and anxiety. One prominent psychiatrist and neuroscientist has made this observation, One educator, well known for his research involving neurology as it relates to learning, has noted that "research strongly suggests that stress strangles decision-making, judgement and impairs memory and learning."…Most people do not understand how important thoughts are and leave the development of thought patterns to chance. Did you know that every thought you have sends electrical signals throughout your brain? Thoughts have actual properties. They are real! They have significant influence on every cell in your body. When your mind is burdened with many negative thoughts, it affects your deep limbic system and causes deep limbic problems. Teaching yourself to control and direct thoughts in a positive way is one of the most effective ways to feel better. Teachers are generally well-trained in methods of dealing with stress and anxiety related to the classroom. However, they are often at a disadvantage when it comes to dealing with problems emanating from the home. Thus, it is crucial that parents understand how a child’s emotions are impacted by the home. Harvard psychologist Daniel Goleman has pointed out that there are five emotional areas critical to success in school: self-awareness, managing moods, motivation, empathy, and social skills. Self-awareness: Emotions not properly handled can commandeer the brain and keep information from being properly processed. Self-awareness is the ability to know what you are feeling as you are feeling it. Failure to understand your mood and how you feel about that mood, e.g., your own anger, frustration, hurt, etc. can lead to improperly handling your own emotions. A child needs to know that anger is sometimes appropriate or that frustration is common to everybody at times. Parents would be well advised to make efforts, from the time their children are little, to help them understand that occasionally experiencing negative emotions is normal. Reflect upon your own experiences, and help your children see that you too were faced these feeling and overcame them in a positive way. Children have to learn not to over-react to unpleasant situations, nor expect others to take care of problems for them. Also, teaching youngsters to understand and deal with their feelings will lessen the likelihood that they will become depressed and overly anxious, which may in turn result in a host of undesirable behaviors ranging from explosiveness to anorexia/bulimia. Managing Moods: Managing moods is important to being successful in school. Children are often dominated by impulse, and moods can and do affect impulsivity. Think about it, if your boss put you in a bad mood, the worst thing you could do would be to act out your anger in an impulsive, insubordinate manner; for example, telling him you will quit if he doesn’t like the way you do things, or perhaps swearing, or even hitting him. Some times, students do similar things because they don’t have the experience to know how counter productive such behavior can be. Parents can help their children escape much unpleasantness, both for themselves and others, by teaching them to manage moods. A good plan for teaching children to learn impulse control is the STOP & THINK problem solving skills procedure made popular by Dr. Howard Knoff. Here is a variation that is easily implemented. Simply teach the child to do the following before acting. Tell him/her; "say to yourself:" STOP!
 THINK!
a bad choice will not get me what I really want.
You can make your own STOP & THINK posters and put them in various places around the house, etc. This will help your child learn the process. Having children come to school with problem solving skills is a great support for learning.Motivation: Motivation is also critical to success in school. Many children lack motivation because they are discouraged. They see roadblocks and setbacks as something they can do nothing about. When they are helped to see that they can do something positive to change their situation, they are more likely to be motivated to work. Small increments of success on a daily basis will often result in encouragement and the belief that, "I am not dumb. I can learn and be successful." Help your child find some success, no matter how insignificant it may seem to you. It will mean a great deal to a discouraged and downhearted student. Work with your child’s teacher to help find out what the child’s greatest need is, then begin working to build success in small increments. Coach Bill Snyder of the Kansas State University football team is an expert at building success. He took a team that had the worst record in college football and built them into a national powerhouse. Last year they contended for a national title and may well do so again. He took a team that was so down on itself that it never had any expectations other than losing. Listen to what coach Snyder said regarding that first year at K-State.
And so it goes. A little bit of improvement each day eventually resulted in a lot of success. It just required perseverance, and encouragement. A child experiencing motivation problems is probably a discouraged child. Use a little encouragement each day. Make each little success important, no matter how insignificant it may seem, and one day you may begin to see a child who gains confidence and learns to excel.Empathy: Empathy is another important emotional capacity, and some children apparently lack it. When a child can’t experience this emotion, life is going to be hard, for both the child and those around him. Empathy is the ability to sense what others are feeling, or to care about others. When children can’t do this, they have difficulty making friends and getting along. School becomes an unpleasant place to be because they seldom get encouragement and reinforcement from others. Such a child is at risk for failing and dropping out. They are the students who are also more likely to engage in high-risk behaviors. A parent can help a child by teaching him/her empathy skills. Ask the child how others would feel given hypothetical situations, for example, when being made fun of or ridiculed or taken advantage of. Conversely, those students who tend to be most popular, are those who can understand how others are feeling and are able to relate to them. Social Skills: Lastly, those students who tend to do best in school are those with social skills. These are children who have the ability to harmonize with the group. They do not demand to always have their way or be the center of attention. Often times they are the center of attention because they tend to be well liked, and therefore, popularity gravitates toward them. They are those students who take a genuine interest in others’ happiness and well being. Research shows that if a child is socially rejected in grammar (elementary) school he/she has a three times greater chance of dropping out of school. So, parents can help put their children at an advantage by communicating with them the importance of developing skills in these emotional areas. Many times these skills can be enhanced and developed by just helping your child learn to STOP & THINK about how his/her actions effect any situation. How life treats us is a cause-effect relationship. USA Today reported that in the 1980s "on average, parents spend less than seven minutes a week talking with their children." It is not really possible to bond with a child in such little time, and without this bonding process children are not likely to listen well to the advice of their parents. Spend time with your child, bonding with him, helping her develop insights in developing skills in the five important emotional areas. Dr. Amen recommends the following "special time" exercise: NUTRITION Proper nutrition boosts thinking and learning. Dr. Judith Wurtman of MIT reports that amino acids set the stage for you. The ingredients in protein are critical. High-protein, low carbohydrate diets are best for learning, especially for children with attention problems. Such diets have stabilizing effects on blood sugar levels and help with energy levels and concentration. For breakfast, encourage your child to eat fresh fruits (fructose digests slower than sugar and prolongs energy) and low-fat protein foods such as: yogurt, oatmeal, eggs, cottage cheese, lean ham, etc. Discourage eating simple carbohydrates because they tend to create drowsiness since they trigger the release of the neurotransmitter serotonin, which is a natural sleep-inducer and painkiller.The best foods for lunch include fresh salads, fresh fruits (bananas, apples, oranges and papayas) and low-fat proteins such as: tuna fish, chicken, cottage cheese. Discourage the eating of simple carbohydrates for the reasons mentioned above. A good dinner menu includes fresh salads, fresh vegetables, proteins, lean meats, and carbohydrates like pasta, potatoes, rice and breads. The best time to eat simple carbohydrates, which children tend to like most, is at the late night snack time. These are treats and are usually junk foods like cookies, chips, cereal, snack cakes, etc. A student who is malnourished will not concentrate as well and will not learn as well. SLEEP The third critical ingredient to learning is sleep. Jensen reports that by cutting sleep time by as little as two hours, your ability to recall may be impaired the next day. Sleep, he notes, gives your brain time to do some "housekeeping", to rearrange circuits and process the day’s events, to rest and repair itself, to consolidate and enhance memory.In order to do this, the brain needs deep rest. This means putting your child to bed with a feeling of security and belonging, the feeling that s/he is safe and loved. Students who live in abusive, high-stress families are at greater risk because fitful worry and anxiety often impact their sleep. They may be sleeping, but it is not the right kind of deep restful sleep. Teachers tell us that many learners need either more sleep or better quality sleep. In conclusion, we come back to our starting point. Parents make the difference. They have the vital role in ensuring that their children come to school in a state conducive to learning. A child who is emotionally immature or distraught, malnourished, or rest deprived is a child who will likely not do well in school. On the other hand, a child who is happy, well rested and nutritionally satisfied, is a child who will learn. ã 1999 Donald A. Boyd, Ph.D. Center for Effective Parenting is a
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